Endorsements rarely come more prestigious than from Britannia Construction and Newport County.

Photoshop work is rarely as seamless as superimposing heads on the bodies of people in an inexplicable pose.

Richard Keys, on the 'smash it' clip, January 2011:

Shocking, horrible, out of order, wrong, old-fashioned, behavioural problems that need to be attended to? Yeah. Reconstruction? Yeah.

Prehistoric banter isn't acceptable in the modern world. I accept that. We failed to change when the world has changed.

Contrition has rarely been so genuine.

(image via a superb Lost in Showbiz column by Marina Hyde for The Guardian)